How to comfort a friend’s depression
Comforters also need to talk about psychological skills, and give the most intimate comfort according to the psychological activities of the other party.
Listening to each other’s distress Due to differences in life experience, family background, education, etc., each person has a different understanding of distress.
Therefore, when trying to comfort a person, first understand his distress.
Comforting, listening is more important than speaking.
Hearts need to listen to the ears gently, not the logical and sharp head.
Listening is to use our ears and heart to listen to each other’s voice. Don’t ask the cause and effect of things, and don’t rush to make judgments. Give each other room to let him express his feelings freely.
When listening, feel empathy, and the other person will notice the distortion in us.
If we can “grieve his grief, be happy with his happiness” about his experience, for the comforted, this is the best help for him.
The biggest obstacle to comforting others in accepting the other’s world is often that the comforter is unable to understand, understand, and agree with what he believes is the distress.
It is easy for people to limit the definition of distress to a range that can be understood by oneself. Once it exceeds this range, it is “suffering” to be unreasonable.
Because they don’t take the “bitterness” of others as the subject, the comforter is prone to resist in the process of listening and can’t wait to put forward his own opinions.
Therefore, the comforter needs to abandon his deep-rooted ideas, acknowledge his prejudice, and really look at the problems he is facing from the other side.
Psychologists say, “Let go of your own world and accept the world of others”, this is the truth.
The best comforter is to lay down oneself temporarily, walk into the other person’s inner world, and use his eyes to see his experience without making judgments.
To explore the way the other party has traveled, comforters often feel that they have an obligation to propose solutions for the other party.
As everyone knows, almost everyone who has been tortured and tortured has experienced a series of unceasing trial and error experiences before seeking comfort.
Therefore, all we have to do is to explore the way the other party has traveled, understand the other ‘s struggles, let him be heard, understood, recognized, and tell him that he has done enough and good enough. This is a comfort.
Psychologists remind comforters of an important concept: “Consolation is not the same as treatment.
Healing is about making people change, and severing distress by change; comfort is about trying to affirm their suffering, without trying to cause it.
“In fact, in the process of comforting people, any solution provided is likely to fail or not apply, disappointing the other party again, so without intervention, without giving insight, listening, understanding and agreeing with their distress, isThe highest principle of comfort.
In addition, walking with the other party is also a comfort.
The other party will feel safe and warm with your company, so he will talk about his pain, tell his resentment, blame himself, regret, and say everything he wants to say. After he has gone through the storm, his heart will calm down and face himIn the encounter, he would really appreciate your company and feel that he came by himself.